


how to be a (soon-to-be) father

by skuls



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s08e20 Essence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 05:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10610295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuls/pseuds/skuls
Summary: The conversation Mulder and Maggie have while Scully's in the hospital in Essence.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Original post: https://how-i-met-your-mulder.tumblr.com/post/154036886716/stephanob-thanks-for-the-prompt-how-much-time

How much time has he spent in hospitals in the months since his return? Too much time. Too much time of his life, if he’s being honest, but danger seems to follow them like a constant angel of death. He should know, he’s been there.

Scully had called him after hanging up and said in a terrified voice, “The woman my mother hired was switching out my pills. I need to go to the hospital.” He’s been trying, trying to be there, to be a father. He loves the baby but he doesn’t know if he should claim it, hasn’t known what Scully wants. But now he wishes he’d been there. Wishes he hadn’t left her side. Maybe if he’d been a better father-to-be, Maggie wouldn’t have sent someone to take care of her. In a wayward way, this is his fault. For not being there, for pulling Scully into this mess eight years ago. It always leads back to him.

He’d gone straight to the hospital and they haven’t let him see her. He’s tempted to say that he is the husband, or at least the father of the baby. Maybe then they’d let him hold her hand.

“Fox!” A terrified voice echoes off the walls, and he turns to see Maggie Scully heading quickly down the hall. The scared and protective look on her face is the look of a mother. A look he never saw from his own mother except in regards to Samantha’s disappearance, when they’d found him unconscious on the floor and her gone, a look that he’ll probably see more than once from Scully in the future, provided that something bad will eventually happen to the baby. Provided that he’s able to be there. If she doesn’t want him to be, he’ll probably have to leave forever, because he doesn’t know how he could stand it otherwise.

“Hi, Mrs. Scully,” is all he can say as she approaches him.

“What happened? Is Dana okay?” 

He’s forced to answer with, “I don’t know.” He swallows painfully. “She said that the woman was switching her pills.”

Maggie pales even more than before, which he didn’t know was possible. She looks like a ghost. (He winces at the terminology.) “Lizzy?” she gasps incredulously.

Mulder doesn’t know what to say. He nods.

“Oh my god…” The older woman sags back against the colorless wall, both hands pressed against her mouth. “This is all my fault,” she says in quiet realization.

“You can’t blame yourself,” he says quickly, hoping to ease the guilt. If anyone doesn’t deserve it, it’s Scully’s mother. “There was no way for you to know.” _And besides, it should’ve been me. I should’ve been the one taking care of her._

“This pregnancy has already been so hard on her, what with the abruption and the funeral…” He bites down on his lip so hard he tastes blood, almost surprised at her bluntness. Maybe she forgot, it’s easy to. “I just wanted to make things easier on her.”

“I understand. I don’t know how she did it.” This is the truth. He can’t imagine how he would’ve done if the roles had been reversed, doesn’t know if he could carry on without Scully. 

“I never knew that…” Maggie stops mid-sentence and looks up at him. He used to think Scully’s mother liked him - she’d stepped in front of a gun barrel for him, for god’s sake - but now he’s not so sure, what with everything that’s happened. “I was at your funeral,” she says quietly. “I couldn’t quite believe it when Dana told me you were back.” 

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t believe it, either,” he replies just as quietly. He does not want to be here. He wants to be back at Scully’s apartment, teasing her and feeling the baby kick. He wants, just once, for things to be normal, and he wants the love of his life’s mother to be looking at him in a non-suspicious way. 

“Dana was in terrible shape. Forgive me, but I didn’t know your partnership was that close.” Maggie clears her throat awkwardly, eyes straying down the hall towards Scully. He can’t blame her. He is a parent now too, technically. “Are you… are you the father, Fox?” Her eyes turn on him, the cool Scully blue. He hopes the baby has that color eyes, but he also hopes that the baby will never turn those eyes on him with that chilly look in them. They can be terrifying, those eyes.

 _I don’t know_ sounds ridiculous. And he does know, in the way Scully’s looked at him, her smile at his hand on her stomach, the way she leaned into him effortlessly at Lamaze. So he settles for, “I think so.”

Maggie raises her eyebrows like she doesn’t know how to respond to that. He wishes he had something clearer for her. They all deserve closure, everyone tangled in this web of lies and deceit. The baby most of all.

Scully’s doctor walks past them, towards Scully. Wordlessly, they follow.


End file.
